Oh wait...it's not National Wander-Off-Topic Day...back to the lies. Here we go:
- I've ridden on a float in a Disneyland parade.
- I've ridden on a horse that once competed in the Kentucky Derby
- I've ridden in the Mystery Machine from the Scooby Doo movies.
Figured out which one is true? Excellent. Next lies!
- Our 1st trip to Disneyland was nearly cancelled because our plane went off the runway while taxiing.
- Our 1st trip to Disneyland was nearly cancelled because my daughter threw up on the gate agent at check-in.
- Our 1st trip to Disneyland was nearly cancelled because our car was stolen the day before we were supposed to leave.
You'll be happy to know that we did make it to Disneyland despite our rough start. Time for romance!
- My first kiss with my wife was the result of a dare from my best friend.
- My first kiss with my wife was interrupted by her parents opening the front door.
- My first kiss with my wife was the result of her getting tired of waiting for me to kiss her and taking matters into her own hands.
Do you know my "rebel" side?
- I was once thrown out of a shopping mall for throwing ice cream at Santa.
- I was once thrown out of a nightclub for "dancing too dangerously".
- I was once thrown out of a soccer game for commenting on the referee's amazing ability to "blow things".
Finally, let me share some of my travel misconceptions with you.
- I once thought that gambling was not only legal in Nevada but mandatory.
- I once thought that the Indians in Cowboys and Indians movies all came from India.
- I once thought that everybody in British Columbia spoke with an English accent.
OK, have you made your choices? Let's see how you did.
The truthful statements are:
I've ridden on a float in a Disneyland parade.
I didn't get to ride with Mickey, but I did get to ride on a float with an Orange County Cheerleading squad back in the mid 1980's. No, I wasn't part of the squad (You were trying to picture that weren't you?) but my best friend who I was in the park with that day managed to talk us onto the seats at the very back of the float. We've almost ridden in the Mystery Machine, but somebody wouldn't tell me where the keys were.
Our first trip to Disneyland was nearly cancelled because my daughter threw up on the gate agent at check-in.
Do you know what happens when your child throws up on an airline employee? They have to be checked out and approved to fly by a medical professional before being allowed on the plane. Since we happened to be flying out on a Sunday, there were no doctors available so an ambulance was called to the airport to confirm that my daughter was just nervous and not actually sick. On the other hand, I think the gate agent got the rest of the day off.
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| Don't throw up on Tigger....Don't throw up on Tigger.... |
My first kiss with my wife was the result of her getting tired of waiting for me to kiss her and taking matters into her own hands.
I didn't honestly think I was taking that long about it, but apparently my wife is a little bit impatient. Something that I've learned over and over again since...
I was once thrown out of a shopping mall for throwing ice cream at Santa.
All three of these things happened, but the only one I actually got thrown out for was throwing ice cream at Santa, which was totally bogus as it wasn't me. I mean come on...do I look like the kind of guy who would waste ice cream?
I once thought that gambling was not only legal in Nevada but mandatory.
Hey, when everybody tells you that you "have to gamble when you're in Vegas", it's pretty easy to misunderstand. Fortunately I understand what they meant now, but I'd like to apologize to all the people who've overheard my wife say "You have to go to the outlet mall when you're in Vegas!" It's not actually a legal requirement.
Written by Steve Pratt